Right Here and Right Now
by nikoli1
Summary: Living life for now makes more sense than living for the future. Slight spoilers for episode 5x08.


**Just stepping away from all of the Christmas fics that are out there. This work of fiction is dedicated to my friends, theputz913 and purplangel for their continued support and encouragement. Lastly, I don't own Caskett, they belong to A.M.**

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_You're the love that rescues me when the cold winds rage _

_You're the hope that moves me to courage again_

_And it's so amazing 'cause that's just how you are_

_And I can't turn back now 'cause you've brought me too far__  
__I need you like water, like breath, like rain_

_I need you like mercy from Heaven's gate_

_There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through_

_I need you_

_By LeAnn Rimes_

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Kate slides into the taxi with Castle close behind her. He pulls the door shut, leans forward and tells the driver where he wants to go. He is speaking softly to the driver and Kate doesn't hear what he says. She doesn't really care as long as he leads them away from downtown Brooklyn. Castle leans back and rests his head against the seat.

Kate watches him close his eyes. She turns and stares out the window unable to focus on anything except for the roaring of blood rushing in her ears. Her heart is pounding out a chaotic rhythm inside her chest while her mind replays a continuous loop of their evening. The bickering between them that ensued after they left his loft following a disastrous dinner with their parents. The look on his face when she told him that maybe their relationship wasn't meant to be. After all, she is just a cop and she struggles to see what he sees in her. In them. Compound that with the fact that this is all transpiring while they are working a case. And if all that doubt wasn't painful enough, she was forced to make a decision and have them separate. She stayed behind with the suspect while Castle left their 'safe hideout' in search of a place where he could call for back-up. Watching him leave the basement after all _that_, left her feeling empty and at a total loss. The situation got worse when her witness, turned into the perpetrator, who then bound her hands with duct tape, rendering her utterly useless. She was then forced to follow him to the meeting point where Castle would be waiting for her. She stumbled in her footsteps when the perpetrator opened fire on the vehicle that Castle was supposedly in, shattering Kate right there. Fearing the worst, she stepped up to the SUV to peer inside just as Castle came around the corner unharmed. Unable to hold back any longer, she rushed over to him and threw her bound hands around his neck as his arms came around her in a tight embrace. Not wanting to be overheard, she whispered her fear to him. She thought she had lost him. She can't believe she almost lost him. And to think they had spent most of their night arguing and she was doubting him, doubting them.

Kate is jostled from her thoughts when Castle nudges his hand against hers on the seat.

"Penny for them," he says softly.

Kate turns her head and answers his question with a shake of her head. She can't put into words the emotional rollercoaster she is riding at the moment. She gives him a small tight-lipped smile and grabs for his hand instead. Twining her fingers with his, she squeezes their fingers together and turns her head to look back out the window. As they cross the bridge heading back into the city she is glad to see the driver take a right turn in the direction of her apartment. She really didn't want to go back to Castle's loft and face Martha or anyone else for that matter. The driver pulls up to the curb indicating they have arrived at their stop. Castle thanks the driver as she exits the cab.

Wordlessly, they step into the elevator together. He looks over his shoulder as Kate scoots up behind him, never letting go of his hand. He raises his eyebrow at her in question but she buries her face against his coat and squeezes his hand harder. The elevator opens to her floor and Kate fumbles taking the keys from her coat pocket. He crowds her back as she inserts the key into the lock, her hand trembling as she turns the doorknob.

Still grasping his hand, she opens the door and steps through. Castle takes a step back and closes the door as he passes through. He tugs on their joined hands pulling her around to face him. His breath catches in his chest at the sight of her face. She has her bottom lip pulled into her teeth trying to keep it from trembling. He touches her chin with his finger and lifts her face up to him.

"Kate," he breathes out in a low voice.

Her eyes glisten with unshed tears. She takes a shuddering breath, "Castle, I am so sor-" the apology dies on her lips as his hand catches the edge of her jaw, he emits a low growl as his lips come crashing down on hers. He lets go of their clasped hands and draws his arm around her waist, pulling her up against him. He pushes his weight into her and starts walking her backwards. She gasps as her back slams up against the door.

He claims her lips with an urgency she has not felt since their first night together. The hard press of his mouth against hers and the flicking of his tongue against her lips until she parts for him and he delves inside. She gives it all back to him in earnest as she slides her fingers through his hair to grasp the back of his head effectively holding him to her mouth. She moans as he pushes his knee between her legs so that he can shift part of his weight off of her as he continues to plunder her mouth. His fingers traipse down the long column of her neck as he pushes her collar off her neck with his thumb. His mouth abandons her lips and he trails urgent kisses down her neck to the place at the base of her neck where he has parted her shirt. He marks her with his mouth eliciting a groan from her. His hands part her coat and he pushes it off her shoulders and down her arms until it is lying at her feet. She runs her hands down his coat doing the same until he shrugs his shoulders and she jerks the coat free from his arms.

She doesn't stop there, she has to touch him. Using her fingers she deftly pulls his shirt up from his pants and hastily undoes the buttons and removes the shirt. Castle moans as she trails her hands down his chest. When she reaches his belt she swiftly pulls the leather through the buckle until the last of it slides through the opening allowing her access to the button of his jeans. He pushes her hands away and quickly undoes his pants. She is already unbuttoning her blouse as he steps out of his pants. He places his hands on her wrists as she undoes the last of her buttons. It is a silent command to let him do it. He drags his hand up from her naval until he reaches the bottom of her bra, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. He unclasps the bra from the front and pushes both bra and blouse off her shoulders. He leans down and kisses the tops of her breasts alternating between them. Kate closes her eyes at the sensation of his lips. She opens her eyes at the sudden loss of contact and sees him drop to his knees in front of her. He places a kiss to her lower abdomen as he slides his hand along her ankle and unzips her boot. He pulls gently until it slides freely off her foot. He repeats his effort with the other. He drags his hands up the front of her legs, up her thighs, until he reaches the top of her waist. He quickly undoes the button and drags the zipper down, in one swift movement he pulls both her underwear and pants down until they are gathered at her feet. She steps sideways as he pulls them away. He leans forward and places a kiss at the crease of her thigh and swirls his tongue along her inner folds causing her knees to buckle. Kate grips his hair and pulls at him to stand with her. He drops his boxers as he stands back up.

She claims his mouth and bites down on his lower lip getting a slight taste of blood as she runs her tongue along the edge. Roughly he grabs her behind her thighs and lifts her up until she can encircle her legs around his waist. She feels him at her entrance and in one sharp jerk of his hips he thrusts deep inside her causing her to groan. He holds on tightly to her waist as he continues to thrust up into her. She leans back against the door to gain leverage as she pushes down toward every thrust he gives. Her back slams against the door from the jolt of his hips as she climbs higher still. She will be bruised tomorrow. But she doesn't care. She needs this life affirming moment with him. Just them. She clenches around him tighter still. He surrounds her and it is still not enough. She needs him in every fiber of her being. She wants to begin and end with him. His thrusts pick up in tempo and their skin slaps as they meet together. It is fast and hurried and she doesn't know how much longer she can last. Castle leans back just enough so he can look into her eyes. He sees the swirl of need and want there, it matches his own. He feels her start to quiver in her release as she brings up one of her arms to grasp around his neck, trying to hold on and wait for him. It's enough as he thrusts up into her one last time pushing them both over the edge together, always together, in sync with one another. She sobs his name as she draws him up against her, digging her nails into his shoulder holding on as she rides out the crashing, pulsating tide of release. So perfect. They stay pushed up against the door as she continues to shake and sob in his arms.

"Kate, oh God, Kate," he whispers in her ear. He rubs gentle circles down her back. "Talk to me, Kate," he says softly.

She leans back and his heart stutters at the look in her eyes. It is all there, waiting for the words to define it.

She traces the edge of his face with her finger as she struggles to put her raging emotions into the right words. "I thought I had lost you today. As I stood there watching that guy emptying his clip into that SUV, I kept asking myself. Is this how you want this to end? With him not knowing what he means to you?" Kate swipes at a tear as it slips down her cheek and draws in a shaky breath to continue. "Rick, you are everything to me. I can no longer imagine my world without you being in it. And it brought me to my knees today with the realization that I might have lost the very best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my partner and my best friend. I know that we are not always going to agree on things. But I never want you to doubt my feelings for you and what you mean to me. I need you in my life. Please don't ever forget that."

He gives her a tight-lipped grin and raises his finger to run along her lower lip. "Kate, you are the air I breath. My other half. I will never ever take what we have for granted. And yes, we will stumble and sometimes fall, as we find our way. I am okay with that. As long as I know that we are in this together." He kisses her slowly. "I don't ever want you to doubt what you mean to me. I love you, Kate. Always."

She pulls him into a tight embrace and whispers back, "me, too. Always."

_A note of special thanks to all my readers and the reviews left along the way. They have meant so much!_


End file.
